How is this freeing? We don’t have to work so hard! We don’t have to figure it out! People show us who they are, over and over again. If they show us they are loving, thoughtful and nurturing, great – accept that! If they show us the opposite, accept that too…but consider your next steps.
Your only decision – especially for new acquaintances – is “do I want this person in my life?” The right time to ask that question is the first time someone shows you who they are.
That doesn’t mean you can’t come from a place of love in how you handle the situation. It may be that they need your support to start shifting their life in a more positive direction, to start operating from a place of love rather than pain, anger or fear….. but know that it’s not your responsibility to “fix” them. It’s their journey, their soul at risk, their karmic debt to address. They have to decide how to move forward in a more positive way.
We can let the person know they have crossed our boundaries and tell them specifically what we will not allow. We can tell them what consequences there will be if it happens again. After that, it’s up to them to honour your request, or not. Your only responsibility is to be firm in adhering to the consequences you’ve outlined.
If it’s a work situation, you may have to find a way (with support of your manager, HR, etc) to work with the person that allows you both dignity and respect.
But if this is a personal situation, and the behaviour is repeated, you can choose to graciously exit the relationship.
Is it always easy to exit? No. But the more experience you have standing up for your Self, the easier it will become.