This quote from Maya Angelou – discussed in When to ask the question “Do I want this person in my life?” a few days ago started a lot of discussion… not just on what we see in other people (and how we choose to accept or reject it), but how we might be showing the world who we are…. but in the “wrong” way… showing the world our fears rather than our hopes, our anxiety rather than our strengths and leadership.
Some people can’t see past those projections to see the bright and shining wonderful person that we are.
I know who I am. I believe in my Self, and I believe I share my values and integrity openly with the world. I trust that my energy and values are clear to people I meet. But if they don’t see the real me, I accept that.
I do not have to worry about what people think about ME. That is a fool’s errand, as my Mother would say! I cannot control what other people think about me. That’s their “stuff” and quite likely tells me more about how they think – what their fears are, what filter with which they view the world – than it does about who I am. Sometimes it’s a tough path to follow, as most people would prefer to be looked on favourably.
But what about the people who do NOT believe themselves? What about those who focus on the negative… who worry about all the awful things that MIGHT happen… who believe they have no value, no worth… who believe everyone is looking down on them…. who have no self-confidence… who believe they are not deserving of love or friendship or respect… who can be destroyed by a passing unimportant remark?
If that is what you believe….
- How well are you treating your Self?
- What are you projecting to others? Is it possible that those projections are telling people it’s okay to treat you as poorly as you do your Self… creating that which you most fear?
- Will it be possible for people to see past your fears to see the loving beautiful person you are inside?
If you don’t like how people are treating you, first take a look inside. You are the magnet that attracts your reality. Have you attracted the wrong kind of people into your life, the bullies who are weak and only feel good by putting down someone else? Have you allowed disrespect, lack of support, or negativity? And by not challenging those behaviours, what message are you giving them? What are you teaching them?
If you have had those negative experiences, start working on self-care and setting boundaries with those who do not respect you with their words or actions. This is work you can do on your own or with the work of a healer, lightworker, therapist or counsellor. There were also a few tips in the “Do I want this person in my life” post.
Do not hesitate to put your Self first. Stand up for what YOU deserve.
No one is truly without love, whether they believe it or not. Start with believing in the Self that the people who surround you with love and care and support and affection see and believe in.
Say hello to new acquaintances from that place of love and self-confidence in your worth. Say goodbye to the people who do NOT treat you with respect, care, dignity and love.