Let’s practise a little unconditional love today!
When I first read the pictured quote from Goethe, I got caught up in the “ought to be” part… My mind started to wonder if this was being judgmental. Who decides what “ought to be” for someone else?
Unless we ask someone what they ought to be, then our behaviour is based on our subjective belief of what another is capable of being or “should” be.
Or is it? Is that always true?
We can see, feel and hear when a person is not acting from their own highest good. We can see, feel and hear when someone is fully immersed in negativity, anger, fear, self-loathing, victimization, pain or blaming.
When someone experiencing the world from that dark place, they are disconnected from their Wise Inner Self. They are acting from the part of the brain that manages the fight-or-flight response, from fear, from a sense of impending danger or loss. In “coach-speak”, they are not fully accessing the inner resources available to them.
We can recognize that they are in that dark place without judging them, and can simply acknowledge it rather than reacting to it.
I began to see that this quote isn’t just about the other person and who they ought (or ought not) to be… It’s fundamentally about our Self and how we choose to react — or respond — to someone else’s behaviour, and whether or not we can hold space for someone to step into their best way of being…. by stepping into our best way of being.
And how do we do that? By:
💞 choosing to not react to their negative state with one of our own — judgment, criticism, anger — but, instead, choosing to respond to the highest and best part of them with the highest and best part of us.
💞 responding with thoughtfulness rather than reacting in a knee-jerk tit-for-tat way…
💞 trusting and respecting their journey…
💞 supporting them without enabling them… allowing them to own their own solutions
💞 holding space for them, and for our Self. When we hold space, it means just that: with our love and acceptance we hold a container of safe space for another to fully experience their own journey, their own processes, and come to their own decisions and actions.
💞 being the Isumataq — the person who creates the atmosphere in which wisdom reveals itself.
“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”